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Jim Melvin's avatar

This is really well written and speaks to a lot of women and men who have gone through similar relationships. Great job!

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Ashley Jackson-Lee's avatar

Thanks, I know many many people have been through something similar!

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Andreea's avatar

Yes, comfort can be deadly - particularly if it comes into our lives at a time when we don't know ourselves very well. It can keep us stuck in an addictive loop, chasing the highs and turning a blind eye on the lows.

I guess we've all been there in one way or another. It never ends well. :( The best we can ask for is that it ends peacefully and it brings a lot of lessons. I'm happy that was your case.

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Ashley Jackson-Lee's avatar

Yes, always a lesson in heartbreak. It took many years for me to heal from that relationship and I’m always hoping that by sharing, I can help someone else heal too :)

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Greta at Love Off Grid's avatar

You just described so many relationships I had before I realized I was the common denominator in all of them! I was drawing these kinds of people to myself for a reason. They reflected where I was at the time - I needed those people to serve as a mirror to my own shortcomings to really see myself.

The book "Eastern Body, Western Mind" was pivotal in my life. I spent at least a year reading, doing the exercises, journaling... what a difference getting to know yourself makes! I still return to that book frequently.

Thanks for sharing your experience with "Rock". :-) and congrats on escaping the closet.

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Ashley Jackson-Lee's avatar

I will have to check out that book! I’ve heard of it, but not read it. Healing from that relationship took years and looking back, I realize that he brought up so much from my shadow. I’m grateful for all of the lessons it brought, but I am very happy it’s in the distant past :)

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Mayday Homestead's avatar

Excellent read. I’m currently trying to come to terms with a relationship I thought was thriving, but it turns out it’s been slowly derived of nutrients.

Loving this series, your analogies and connections are really wonderful, easy to follow but so “rooted” in wellness.

Thank you!!

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Ashley Jackson-Lee's avatar

Thank you very much for your comment, such kind words! It’s very hard to come to terms with a relationship that doesn’t have what it takes to survive. When I look back at all the relationships (friendship and romantic) the ones that stand the teat of time are the ones that just happen naturally. The ones where we had to have so many conversations about ‘change’ and ‘making it work’ ultimately became unmanageable. I’m rooting for you as you go through a difficult time ♥️

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Paula Gregorowicz's avatar

This is so beautifully written. I also like the many layered meaning of you choosing to call this person Rock.

Relationships are hard and take so much work. And also the difference between growing together (even if at different rates and different ways) and being stifled is so very important. Thank you for sharing your story and I am happy you could move on and outgrow that space.

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Ashley Jackson-Lee's avatar

Yes, I call him Rock for a reason! The relationship was so much work and did not flow naturally at all. I think that difficult relationships trigger all the places where we need healing and I am so very thankful it didn’t work out for Rock and me. Thank you for always joining the conversation, you always have a great perspective.

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