The 12 Phases in a Season of Growth
The 12 Phases in a Season of Growth, is a collection of ancient lessons taught by Mother Nature showing you how to begin, grow, let go, rest and repeat.
This series will help you discover what growth your intuition is guiding you towards & will give you step-by-step guidance towards the growth that is natural for you.
If you are new to True by Nature, welcome! Every Wednesday throughout the summer, I send out another chapter in my (eventual) eBook, The 12 Phases in a Season of Growth (working title). So far, I have released:
Phase One: Turn Over a New Leaf
Phase Two: Organic Root: (This post)
I have created a special section where I store The 12 Phases in a Season of Growth, as it is not featured on my homepage of this blog.
What does a harvest look like for you?
In the first phase of growth (Turn Over a New Leaf) you discovered what area of your life needs you attention the most. In the garden, this is often known as a staple crop— a plant whose growth makes a big impact on your life and is of great importance
In this season of growth, you have already identified which relationship needs to grow and expand (relationship with self, others or nature) and now it’s time to figure out what a harvest would look like for you in this season in your life.
A harvest is a measurable goal that you will be able to know with certainty that you have reached. For example, in the garden, a harvest could be 30 lbs. of tomatoes or enough potatoes to last through the winter. When you assign a measurable goal to this season, creating a plan to achieve the harvest (phase three) much easier.
There is no timeline for this season, so avoid any goals that are time specific. You are not in a rush, you are healing a relationship that likely has really deep roots, especially this first one you are addressing.
Working on the relationship you have been ignoring for the longest amount of time is going to take some time, this is not a race. If you are anything like me, you will have to start over many times before the season is complete.
Get clear in your mind (or write down) what a harvest would look like in this season of your life. Knowing what a harvest will look like for you will help you reach it. Maybe not on the first try, but eventually.
I always encourage actual writing rather than simply pondering the question in your head. I suggest setting a timer for a minimum of five minutes and write either by writing or typing.
Here's my example:
For so many years, I have been on a rollercoaster with my relationship with food. I have starved myself, I have forced myself to puke and I have stuffed myself to the point of uncomfortable. I think that a harvest for me would be to not abuse food anymore. I think this would look like eating healthy, filling portions and eating mostly fruits, vegetables and the occasional sweets. I think that a harvest would be having the strength to avoid binges in the afternoon of pancakes and other unhealthy ways of doing whatever I do with food. I think a harvest would look like saying no when I don't want to eat something and saying yes when I'm hungry. A harvest would look like me preparing healthy food for myself that I enjoy and making sure that my food needs were more important than my partners. I need to put myself and my food first at all times. A harvest for me would feel like freedom. The freedom to say no when I don't want to eat or drink something without being afraid that someone will get mad at me and say something rude to me about my eating. A harvest for me would require courage because I have been unwilling to put my relationship with food as a priority in my life. A harvest for me would look like me saying no to what I know is unhealthy for me or what I know I don't want. A harvest for me will require me to say no, no matter what others peoples reaction might be.
Just like a gardener learning how to grow food for the first time, you might not fully understand how your growth process works, so it might take a few tries to get the hang of it. Be easy on yourself as you are making your way through these phases, there is much to learn and absorb.
This is a very personal journey of discovery and self-awareness, take your time.
The health of your soil
Every spring, before placing the plants in the earth, I consider the health of the soil. The soil is the entire foundation of the garden and without healthy soil, the plants will have a hard time growing.
You are going to have to take a look at the environments in your life that affect your ability to grow: your home, your body, your relationships and your foundation.
All of these environments contribute to the health of your soil. One you test these environments, you will be able to see what improvements you need to make to your garden before you begin planting seeds. It will also become clear why you have had such a hard time trusting your intuition all along.
Your home:
One of the most important aspects of planning a garden is to make sure the plants will get enough sunlight. Without the adequate amount of light, the plants will not have the nourishment necessary to thrive.
Without knowing it, we often have too much darkness in our homes. I am not talking about the actual amount of light that comes through the windows, I'm talking about the energy of the home and its inhabitants.
There are many environmental practices (ie: Feng Shui, Minimalism etc.) that can help inspire shifts in energy in the home.
If you don't love your home, your ability to grow will be affected. We must feel safe and nourished in the place that we live, eat and sleep. If you don't love your home, take a few moments to answer the following questions:
1) What do you love about your home?
2) What do you dislike about your home?
3) Why do you dislike these aspects of your home?
4) Can you change the things you don't like about your home?
5) If you can't change the things you don't like, is moving a possibility?
6) If not, what can you do to improve your home to make it as inspiring as possible?
I love my home, but there are parts about my home that I don't like. For example, my house has been under construction since we move in two years ago. My sweetheart is (slowly) improving out home, but he works a demanding job, and the progress is slow.
The energy of an unfinished home absolutely impacts my ability to feel grounded and rooted here. For a long time, the torn up floors and the lack of completed projects made me feel angry towards my sweetheart. I had feelings of despair wondering when/if my home would look and feel like I want.
As a solution, I focused my energy on creating a room where I could feel grounded until the construction is complete. I decorated one of the bedrooms to my liking, and it is the one space in my home that isn't under constriction.
I feel happy and at peace with the construction project because I have a refuge. I am still learning to be patient with the rest of the home, but I have a corner of the home that grounds me.
I know that I have no desire to move, I love my house. The things I don't love about my home are changing-even if the pace is much slower than I want.
If you don't love your home, is there anything you can do to improve a small area of it to provide a grounded space for you?
Having a space (or an entire house/apartment) where you feel safe and grounded is a key element to learning the lesson your intuition is guiding you towards. You must have a refuge where you feel at ease.
Your body:
Another environment that will ultimately affect you ability to grow spiritually is the comfort you feel in your body. Your body is the house of your spirit, and processes all of your physical responses to the world around you.
Your body is a tool for your intuition. Your body will alert you when you are in danger, and will let you know when you've pushed yourself too far. As women, most of us have complicated relationships with our bodies based on external expectations of what is deemed beautiful or acceptable.
Many women are disconnected from their bodies, not aware of what movement your body enjoys or when your body needs food. If you are anything like me, you may ignore your body. You might not be aware of what you body needs to stay in balance.
While you are in the process of improving the environments in your life, consider your body a valuable piece in your intuitive journey.
Ask yourself the following questions:
1) What foods/drinks make your body feel healthy?
2) What food/drinks make your body feel bad?
3) What kind of movement does your body prefer?
4) Where do you experience the most amount of discomfort in your body?
5) How do you release energy from your body?
6) What signs does your body give you to show you that you might need to make changes?
Trusting the communication from your body and paying more attentions to the signs of your body is another way your can deepen your relationship with your intuition and create an optimal environment for growth.
Your Relationships
The health of the important relationships in our lives will also impact your ability to grow during this season of your life.
You must spend the bulk of your time around people who love you exactly as you are. There are no exceptions to this rule. If you are in any relationship where you do not feel free to be yourself, you must limit your time with these people.
It is perfectly natural to have disagreements with the ones you love from time to time, but not on a regular basis. If you have a valuable relationship in your life that brings you confusion, frustration, anger or sadness on a regular basis, it is time to really evaluate letting this person go, or creating very strong boundaries for the relationship.
In order to grow and expand in this season of your life, you have to surround yourself with supportive people. Toxic relationships are like poison to the soil-killing any chance for growth.
A toxic relationship is anyone who doesn't support your growth. These are the people who make snarky comments about your choices, don't understand you or are covert or passive aggressive towards you.
Ask yourself the following questions:
1) Who are your biggest cheerleaders?
2) Who causes you the most amount of stress/frustration?
3) Is there anyone in your life who says mean things about you or says snarky comments to you (or about you)?
4) Are there any people in your life who take energy from you, but don't give anything?
5) Who in your life do you need stronger boundaries with?
For years, I had a friend who was very toxic and I didn't even realize it. She had many great qualities but we were never quite a match. She would lie to me and then deny that she lied when I called her on things.
She would make mean comments about my body, life or choices trying to pass off her words as 'just joking.' When she was in my life, things were complicated. It was like her presence in my life was a chaotic fog that wouldn't lift.
She was/is a friend of my family, so it was very complicated to remove her from my life. She took up way too much emotional energy for me. To have her in my life meant that I would continually spend time wondering why she said this or did that, or is she lying again.
I spent so much time trying to figure her out and how to make the relationship better. I've come to the realization that the relationships that are the healthiest, don't require a ton of work.
Healthy, positive relationships flow easily, toxic ones are complicated. I don't necessarily think that all toxic relationships need to head straight to the compost bin, but you definitely need to have extremely well thought out boundaries with these folks if you don't want to get rid of them.
Your Foundation:
Every last one of us has had experiences that have influenced how we feel about ourselves deep within. You have wounds and I have wounds. We have collected many beliefs about life and self-worth from a variety of places, and not all for the positive.
We all pick up programming throughout our lives that affect our self-esteem. The beliefs that we picked up in childhood still have an impact in our adult lives. And the less attention you pay to your inner-voice, the more power you are giving to your programming.
Your foundation is who you are and what you believe deep down about yourself and others. When you are not paying attention to your intuition, your foundation will be based on what you perceive others to think about you. When you stray from your inner-voice, your foundation will always be shaky.
The beauty of learning to trust your intuition is that you will slowly rebuild your confidence from within. Your foundation will increase in strength with every decision you make.
Let's test the strength of your foundation:
1) What percentage of you decisions are influenced by what is "good" or "appropriate"?
2) Do you consider yourself a people pleaser?
3) How often to you do things that you think your 'should' but then feel resentful about?
4) Do you have any relationships in your life where your needs aren't met?
5) Do you ever feel guilty when you say no when you perceive you are needed?
6) Are any of your decisions influenced by the reactions or behavior of others?
For years, I was a people pleaser to the maximum degree. I based all of my decisions of being useful to other people and avoided conflict at all cost. I learned as a young woman that conflict can be scary. I didn't have very good communication skills and most conflict in my life got really out of hand.
Instead of working on my communication skills, I decided to become a chameleon and behave in ways that would help me avoid as much conflict as possible. I would figure out what people wanted from me, deliver what they wanted and feel completely depleted.
My foundation became so weak throughout the years that I could barely make a decision without getting all my friends and family to weigh in. I lost my inner-compass for many years because I was afraid I wouldn't be liked if I was honest.
Living life this way, of course, never works out. I ended up with an entire life full of people I either didn't really like, or who liked a fake version of me. It has taken many years for me to return back to my truest self.
What is the condition of your soil?
After answering the questions, you likely have a better understanding of where you need to improve your soil.
Your soil might be like mine was the first year we moved into our home-overgrown with weeds containing very little nutrients. My first year growing food in that soil went okay; progress was still made, but with limitations.
I had to add so many amendments to the soil in order to grow stronger, healthier plants. None of this progress happened overnight. It's taken years to improve the soil in my garden and the soil in my life.
If your soil is barren right now, don't stress. Over time you will continue to add nutrients and before long you will have fertile soil!
The next phase in The 12 Phases in a Season of Growth is Phase Three: Sow the Seeds