Why your true nature matters

How trusting your intuition will help light the way for others

Last week a former student of mine (Willo) reached out to me. I quit teaching high school nearly a decade ago, but from time to time I hear from former students.

My job as a high school teacher was a little different than most—I directed a dance program which meant that I had many of my students for all four years of their high school journey.

I also had 98% female students, and I interacted with two-hundred of them every single day. Most people would tell me that my career choice was their greatest nightmare—most people are genuinely confounded by teenage girls.

Not only was my entire career based on teenage girls, but I was teaching them how to express themselves through a connection with music and movement. I opened the (emotional) floodgates every fifty-five minutes with a new group of dancers.

It was common for my students to cry during class or to share their stories with me after school when they stopped by-dance is a gateway to the soul.

I’m not surprised when I hear from former students, especially the ones with whom I create a deep connection— Willo was one of those students.

I first met Willo when she was fourteen. I am almost exactly one decade older than her, but we grew to build a significant relationship.

Willo was exceedingly capable, giving, cheerful and talented. Not only was she a gifted dancer, but she was also helpful to others, humble and fun to be around.

As I got to know Willo I recognized the character trait that set her apart from the rest- a complete lack of victim mentality. She shared her life story with me but never in a disrespectful way towards those who had left her with little stability and guidance.

As with most teen girls I knew, Willo got mixed up with a boy who’s capacity for love was limited by both his age and upbringing. So much of how she described her relationship with him reminded me of what I had been through in one of my disastrous love entanglements a few years prior.

She often asked me for advice or came to me when her heart was broken. I knew that it was going to take her a long time to finally end the relationship- I saw a lot of myself in her.

When she performed her solo contemporary dance at the recital her senior year, I remember standing the wings watching a young woman expressing through movement what I had felt for years with my ex.

With Willo, I’ve suspected that the universe brought her into my life to show me aspects of myself. As I watched her experience heartache, I recognized not only her low self-worth, I saw my own. It was an interesting experience to root for her healing while still nurturing my own.

She gave me a glimpse into what my family and friends saw when I was deep in a relationship that was robbing me of my self-esteem. I felt a sense of anguish on her behalf and relief that I was a few steps ahead of her in the healing process.

I knew that Willo was going to be okay because I saw myself in her and knew that she would eventually tire of the nonsense and move on with her life—which is exactly what she did.

So when she texted me last week, I was not surprised at all by what she had to say.

Willo, like me, graduated college at twenty-one and went right into her teaching career. I knew right away that she would not be able to last an entire thirty years as a public school educator.

When she reached out to me, she told me that the idea of going back to teaching next year makes her so sick to her stomach it could make her cry. I told her that what is meant for you will never, ever make you feel that way.

Willo reached out to me to validate that it is normal and healthy to leave her job. I of course reassured her to trust her intuition and to stop being afraid of what she knows is her truth.

Sensing her fear of the unknown reminded me so well of what I felt ten years ago when I started to hate my teaching career career but was unsure if I should trust myself and take the leap.

I feel such a deep and profound sense of gratitude that after all these years, she knew I was the one she could trust to guide her back to herself.

When we were texting back and forth it was like I was texting with myself ten years ago. It felt like I was reassuring twenty-nine year old Ashley that everything was going to be okay so long as I trusted my intuition. I was again rooting for Willo while feeling gratitude that I had the courage to walk away when I was in her shoes.

Trusting myself to finally end my tumultuous relationship helped me guide Willo through a similar relationship.

Trusting myself to quit my career when I was unsure about what the future held is helping me guide Willo through a similar crossroad in her life.

By trusting my own true nature I was able to learn the lessons necessary to help someone else restore their sense of self.

I don’t think Willo would be reaching out to me if I were her former dance teacher still teaching in the classroom. I suspect she reached out to me because she knows that I have already learned the lesson she is currently experiencing.

When we have the courage to say no to everything that isn’t aligned with who we are and walk away from situations that no longer make sense, we fortify our relationship with ourselves.

It is hard work to trust your true nature, but when you do—you could light the way for someone else.

-Ashley

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On Thursday, May 4th @ 7:00 MST, I will be joining a good friend of mine via Zoom to have a chat about Women, Wellness & Woo-Woo. We will be discussing topics that matter most to women and it is also an opportunity for business women in the wellness world to connect. I’d love to meet you! Click here to learn more.