Signs you prioritize comfort over nourishment
Is your growth affected by the way you cope?
We all go through seasons in our lives (or times in our day) where we feel things we’d rather not. Fear, worry, sadness, loneliness, frustration, anger and overwhelm are just a few of the multitude of emotions we experience.
These reactions are natural guidance pointing us to the wounds that most need healing.
These feelings are signals that we are ready to outgrow something, learn something and let go of something.
When relationships and situations around us trigger uncomfortable feelings and emotions— we all have our comfortable ways of coping:
Some of us drink,
some of us cry,
some of us yell
and some deny.
With self-awareness and dedication to the growth process, we can discover strategies that foster growth by refusing to ignore the wisdom in these feelings.
Our feelings are indicators that guide us directly to where we need to grow.
When we choose comfort over nourishment, we risk ignoring the feeling that is doing everything it can to get your attention and guide you to the next step of healing.
The cost of choosing comfort over nourishment every time you experience uncomfortable emotions, could be higher than you realize.
What happens when you choose comfort first
By definition, comfort is the physical ease and freedom from pain. When you are hurt, frustrated, lonely or sad it’s natural to want to find a quick release from the pain.
Just like a plant in the garden during a rain storm, it’s not sensible to dig them up and place them indoors to shield them from the discomfort of making it through the storm.
When you choose a comfort food, a comfort drink or a reaction of comfort (lashing out, pushing buttons, feeling like a victim, yelling or threatening) all you are doing is reinforcing the weak coping mechanism.
In time, your brain thinks it’s getting relief from the emotion at hand, when in reality you are temporarily numbing the feeling until it goes away while engaging in a (likely) more dangerous behavior—doubling the pain.
Pulling every plant out of the garden during every rain storm would damage the roots and disrupt growth. The time the plant would spend sheltered from the storm would put it in a state of shock and stunt its growth. And once I would re-place the plant back into the earth, it would have to reestablish itself and recover from the trauma caused by helping it ‘cope"‘ with undesirable conditions.
It would be much more sensible for the plant to stay put, weather the storm and if it survives, it would continue to grow.
Signs you might prioritize comfort over nourishment
You feel powerless over a self-sabotaging pattern
You can not identify what is really bothering you in the moment
You don’t understand why you act the way you do
You have chronic conflict in your life (likely with the same people/person)
Confused about who you are
Unaware of your growth conditions
Life out of balance
Afraid to make changes
You feel trapped
You feel like nothing is turning out right
What happens when you choose nourishment first
When in the midst of an uncomfortable feeling, if you take a second to ask yourself what you need in the moment, an answer is likely to come.
The answer may not be what you want to hear, and it probably won’t have anything to do with a cocktail, piece of cake or snapping at a loved one.
Growth is excruciating at times, especially when you’re triggered.
To nourish yourself means that you slowly start asking yourself what you need, and then start listening. Your inner-voice always has the answer, you just may not trust it yet—and you may not want to do what it asks of you.
You inner-voice will demand that you make changes regardless of if you are ready.
Nourishing yourself means accepting your triggers as guide posts to your wounds. Think of them as flashlights guiding you to the basement when all of the cobwebs are tangled.
Whatever is bothering you on the surface is connected to something much deeper within. The more you ask your intuition to guide you to the solution, and if you take action, you will build self-trust.
In order to grow, you must become more aware of yourself and the way you work. At the root of all of your triggers is likely to be a lack of self-acceptance resulting in a deep sense of powerlessness.
Self-awareness is a tool that once used effectively, can heal the deepest wounds.
All the best,
Ashley