Calm Before the Storm
Establish boundaries to protect your growth
Phase Four in the 12 Phases in a Season of Growth: Calm Before the Storm
Now that you know what growth is being asked of you and are aware of what you need to do to keep the conditions for steady growth, now it's time to establish boundaries to ward off potential threats.
For many, the topic of boundaries is very complicated. On one hand, you know how valuable it is to have strong boundaries, and on the other hand, you want to be liked and don't want to alienate (or inconvenience) yourself by maintaining your boundaries.
No matter what your opinion towards boundaries, examining your relationship with them is the best way to set up the correct ones.
In the garden, there are many different types of boundaries to be found. Fencing, scarecrows, shade cloth, greenhouses etc. are all examples of boundaries found in the garden. Without these boundaries, the potential for harvest would be threatened.
There are so many pests and predators out in the wild (or in your literal and figurative backyard) and if you are not aware of the potential threats—your ability to grow is extremely vulnerable.
One thing I want to clarify is that the predators in your life are not out to get you, but have been trained (by you) to take without giving and to make you question yourself.
I am in no way promoting victim mentality, quite the opposite. I want you not only establish stronger boundaries in your life, but also help you see that your 'predators' need to go elsewhere to get their nutrients.
The two biggest threats to your growth are your thoughts and boundary-less friends, family and acquaintances in your life. We are going to discuss both and how they affect your growth.
Thoughts
You've probably noticed by now that your thoughts are your greatest predator. Just like the birds on my property that steal the seeds straight from the ground after I plant, your thoughts can destroy your plants before they get a chance to germinate.
Your mind has duality. One side is your conscious mind and the other is unconscious. You conscious mind is what you are aware of and your unconscious mind holds all of your memories and programming.
Most of our impulsive or emotional decisions are made from our unconscious or 'sleeping' mind. Your sleeping mind is where all of your programming resides. Your sleeping mind processes all of the information and makes decisions for you when you are not paying attention with your conscious mind.
Your 'awake' mind is activated when you have a sense of self-awareness. The reason mindfulness is a huge piece of mental wellness is because being aware of the mind means that you will make more decisions based on your awake mind.
When your mind is asleep, you will make decisions based on memories or programming. Your asleep mind will make you believe your are threatened emotionally when in reality you aren't. The more time you spend asleep, your life will have constant turmoil and chaos both internally and externally.
When you are aware of your mind, you will notice the inner-struggle you are constantly having. You will notice the dark vs. light within and you have the responsibility to choose which voice to listen to.
Your thoughts are the number one predator to your growth. Learning to spend more time aware and awake is suggested, but no easy task. Sifting through the nonsense in your mind may be challenging at first, but the more you shine a flashlight on your thoughts, the more the negative thoughts will scurry.
The magic of Mother Nature is that she is always working in your favor-she's either giving you favorable conditions or she is giving you unfavorable conditions that teach you how to be a better grower in the future.
Mother Nature will teach your through disaster that you must always be aware of where your boundaries lie. In the garden, a good boundary will protect your harvest and in life, boundaries will protect your ability to grow & live intuitively.
Boundary-less friends, family and acquaintances
Many times, you cause yourself unnecessary stress (I do it too) because you don’t have trust in your ability to set and hold boundaries with the people around you.
Saying no or staying true to your values will often garner an uncomfortable response from others. But by betraying what you know to be right for yourself is often the fastest path to sabotaging your growth.
Without knowing it, you have taught your family and friends & acquaintances what you are willing to tolerate. Usually, people only ask of you what they believe you are willing to give.
Once you start establishing boundaries and holding them, your growth process will start to take off. Setting boundaries takes so much courage that it’s almost impossible to establish boundaries without experiencing rapid growth.
You will feel yourself evolving once you stop betraying yourself in order to avoid making other people uncomfortable.
Quick tip: anytime you are feeling resentful for any reason, ask yourself where you have a weak boundary. Resentment is usually the result of self-betrayal and porous boundaries.
Embracing patience while waiting for growth to occur
I always find it interesting after I plants seeds each year how quickly I go back to check if they've germinated yet. If I plant spinach out in the garden, I usually check the next day to see if anything has sprouted. I am insanely impatient when it comes to new growth.
I get so proud of myself for doing the work it takes to get the garden set up and ready to receive seeds, and I want fast results. I want to see results in exchange for my efforts and I want results as fast as possible.
As we know with Mother Nature, growth starts happening when the conditions are right. The soil, sun, seeds water and weather and boundaries all have to work together to protect and support the seed.
Many times this miracle occurs, and when it does-it's worth the wait.
When you first recognized what growth is being asked of you, I'm sure you wanted to learn your lesson quickly and get it out of the way.
But I'm sure you are noticing that early signs of growth doesn't mean that the lesson is learned, it just means that the lesson has begun.
What’s important to remember is that after the seed turns into a baby plant-it can either end up bearing beautiful fruit or get overcome by weeds.
The success of your growth depends on how steadfast you are at establishing and holding your boundaries with your thoughts and with all people in your life.
While you are preparing for the next phase of this journey, just remember that everything is calm now because it is early in your journey.
You are leaving the springtime where everything is new and exciting, the next four phases of growth will determine if you are going to get a harvest or not.